When it’s time for your child to go back to school, it can upend your household and daily life for a while as you go through preparations and get ready for schedules to change. As a parent, it’s important to understand that your child may be feeling some anxiety about the coming school year, which may be compounded by the chaos of transition period. To ease the transition, you’ll need to recognize the signs of anxiety in your child and learn how best to help your child cope with their feelings.
School Stressors that Contribute to Anxiety in Your Child
School can be stressful for children for a variety of reasons. If your child is starting at a new school, such as moving from elementary to middle school, they are likely worried about learning how to get around, meeting new people, new teachers, and meeting expectations.
Even if they are going back to the same school, they may feel anxiety about peer pressure, academic pressure, being fully prepared for school, changing schedules, and more. They may also face stressors that they have not told you about, such as bullying.
It’s important for you to understand these potential stressors, and that they are valid and require certain coping skills. Understanding and empathizing are the first steps in helping your child to handle their anxiety.
Recognizing the Signs of Back-to-School Anxiety
During the back-to-school transition time, you should be particularly observant of your child so that you recognize any signs of anxiety. These may include:
- Irritability, tantrums, crying
- Becoming quiet or withdrawn
- Communicating their specific worries about school
- Fatigue or trouble sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Headaches or stomach aches
- Withdrawal from friends or activities
- Rebellious behavior
- Clinginess
Helping Your Child Cope with Back-to-School Transition
If you notice the signs of back-to-school anxiety, you can help in several ways.
Validate Their Feelings
Arguably the most important way to help is to validate their feelings. Tell them that you understand their worries, and that it’s natural to feel them. Never tell them that they’re being silly or that their fears are unfounded.
Find Solutions to Specific Worries
Talk to them about their specific fears and find solutions together by letting them come up with ideas. This can make them feel more confident about their ability to be independent. For example, if they are worried about getting around a new school, ask them for ideas about how they can learn how to navigate the hallways. Solutions might be to go to the school and practice their schedule route, or to ask teachers or other students for help if they get lost.
Start the New Routine Early
Start practicing their new schedule by gradually having them get up earlier, having lunch at their scheduled school lunchtime, and planning “after school” activities like having an after-school snack, or playing a sport to mimic what will happen on normal school days.
Add Some Fun to the Transition
Make it a fun time by taking them shopping for school clothes and letting them make fun choices or letting them pick out their own breakfasts or after-school snacks. You could also let them plan a day before school celebration.
Build Their Confidence
Anxiety often comes from a lack of self-confidence, so try to frequently praise them and point out their positive qualities.
Focus on the Positives
Focus on the positives about school, such as extracurricular activities, reconnecting with friends, or learning more about their favorite subject.
Talk to Your Child’s Teachers and School Counselor
Connect with your child’s teachers and counselors before school starts to let them know about your child’s specific worries. That way they will be prepared to support your child.
Tour the School if it’s New to Them
If they are going to a new school, going to orientations or touring the school can help your child to familiarize themselves with the new environment.
Go Over Their School Schedule
Go over their school schedule to help them remember it and to become comfortable with it. Make it positive by saying things like, “you get to have art class right after math”, or “some of your friends will have lunchtime with you.”
Connect With Your Child’s Friends
Have a get together with one or more of your child’s friends and their parents to have a positive discussion about the new school year and to compare their schedules. This can make your child feel as though they are not facing school alone.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your child’s anxiety seems to be overwhelming to them, or if they are having significant physical symptoms in spite of your efforts, you may want to have them speak to a children’s counselor or therapist. After school starts, if they are resistant to going to school, show significant behavioral changes, withdraw, or have a drop in school performance, professional intervention may also be necessary. A professional can help your child deal with their feelings and learn coping strategies.
In Closing
Back-to-school time can be a source of anxiety for both your child and for you. If you believe that your child is overwhelmed and needs professional guidance, Health Service Alliance is here to help. We are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized, and accessible care regardless of your ability to pay. Reach out today to learn more.
