Families can be complicated, with different personalities and perspectives sometimes clashing. Family conflict can occur for many reasons, from financial burdens to substance abuse. If you are experiencing difficulties in your family dynamic, you may benefit from family counseling.
Family Counseling Defined
Family counseling, or family therapy, is a talk therapy that focuses on improving family interactions and relationships. Family can be defined as any group of people who care about each other, whether they are related or not. The counselor is trained in improving family dynamics and can offer guidance, support, and education.
Reasons for Family Counseling
Family counseling can be helpful in a variety of situations. Family relationships may have become strained over time, or family members may be angry or stressed out and are unable to communicate with each other effectively.
Certain events may also have triggered family conflicts, such as:
- A family member suffering a physical or mental trauma
- A death in the family
- A family member with a chronic disease
- Divorce
- Financial troubles
- Moving
Family counseling may also be helpful if one family member has a mental health or substance abuse disorder, or if children are having behavioral issues.
Types of Family Counseling
Family therapy comes in several forms.
Structural Family Therapy
Structural family therapy focuses on how various individuals in the family relate to each other. For example, two members may have a close relationship, while one of those two has a strained relationship with another family member. Think of it as a matrix that shows how each family member relates to all other family members individually. Once the therapist has established this structure, they can focus on restructuring the family in a healthier way.
Strategic Family Therapy
Strategic family therapy seeks to find solutions to problems that various family members have with each other. It does not delve into the history of those conflicts, but focuses on moving forward with strengthened relationships.
Systemic Family Therapy
Systemic family therapy focuses on the beliefs and perceptions of the family members and how those affect their individual relationships with each other. The therapist learns about patterns of behavior between family members and how they affect the dynamics of the entire family and then teaches the family members how to break those unhealthy patterns.
Narrative Family Therapy
Narrative family therapy encourages family members to communicate and understand their own life story and how it affects their relationships. It helps to grow a deeper understanding of each other, but also to enable each family member to rewrite their life story going forward based on their personal goals.
Transgenerational Therapy
In transgenerational therapy, family members discuss their past, how it has shaped their behaviors, and how these behaviors have passed down through generations. For example, if a parent reacts with anger to their own anxiety, their child may have adopted the same behavior. Once behaviors are better understood in the transgenerational context, family members can focus on not blaming each other when conflicts arise.
Family Counseling for Substance Abuse
When someone is receiving treatment for a substance use disorder, family counseling can play a role in their treatment. People with substance abuse disorders have a greater chance of success when they have family support. Family counseling focuses on educating family members about the substance abuse disorder, and how family dynamics play a role. Family members learn how they can support the person in treatment, and how their relationships can improve over time to create a more positive and supportive family dynamic.
Communication
In any type of family therapy, improving communication between family members is a central goal. The therapist will work with the family by teaching and using five techniques.
- Active Listening: Active listening involves paraphrasing what another person just said to show that you understood. It’s not to agree or disagree, but just to acknowledge that you’re hearing what the other person has to say.
- Positive Reinforcement: Family members learn how to positively reinforce each person’s good behavior. The good behavior is rewarded and thus encouraged to continue. The reward may be simply words of appreciation or praise, or it could be something concrete such as flowers or, in the case of a child, added privileges.
- Non-Defensive Responding: Family members learn to let each other speak their mind and to respond non-defensively whether they agree with one another or not.
- Positive Body Language: Family members learn how to avoid negative body language, such as eye rolling, sighing, arm crossing, or not making eye contact.
- Role Playing: Family members take on the roles of each other, usually one to one, to see how their behaviors are perceived by the other person. Usually, the therapist will have the pair act out a specific and relevant scenario.
In Closing
No family is perfect, but sometimes family conflicts need intervention. With help, family members can gain a greater understanding of each other and of themselves. Communication and relationships can improve, creating a more positive and fulfilling family dynamic.
At Health Service Alliance, we offer family counseling resources, whether you’re looking for couples counseling, counseling for the whole family, or family counseling to help a loved one with a substance abuse disorder. We provide a safe space for the family to talk to a compassionate and well-trained therapist who can help your family to move forward as a healthier family unit.
