More than 40 million people in the United States suffered from a substance use disorder (SUD) as of 2020, and about one in four children live with a parent or caregiver who has an SUD. Drug and alcohol addiction has an impact on these children, and on the entire family. Understanding this impact can be the first step toward healing the family and restoring healthy relationships.
Common Family Roles That Develop
When a family member suffers from an SUD, whether it’s a parent, child, or other family member in the household, different family roles often develop around the addicted person in an effort to deal with the addiction. It’s important to understand these roles and their impact.
The Enabler, Sometimes Referred to as the Caretaker
The enabler takes care of the addict, making excuses for them and covering for them, denying that a problem exists. They want to convey the impression of a healthy, happy family.
The Hero
The hero is often a sibling that becomes an overachiever and makes few mistakes, wanting to impress. They put massive pressure on themselves to be perfect.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat is generally a child who acts out, distracting the family from the addict and getting blamed for the family’s problems.
The Lost Child
The lost child withdraws from the family, isolating themselves and avoiding attention.
The Mascot
The mascot uses humor to deflect issues and to avoid their own negative feelings about the family problems.
Potential Effects of an SUD on the Family
Addiction can have a host of negative effects on the entire family.
Constant Conflict
Often, family members start to blame each other for the addicted person’s problem or have disagreements about how to handle the problem. This leads to frequent arguments that may involve the whole family.
Isolation
The family may begin to isolate itself from the outside world to keep the addiction problem a secret. They may stop associating with other relatives and friends and not allow others in the home. This can have a ripple effect, damaging relationships with those outside of the immediate family.
Financial Hardship
If the addicted person is a parent, they may not be able to work, and start spending the family’s money on substances. If the addicted person is a teen, the family may spend a lot of money on treatment attempts. Either way, the entire family may suffer from the financial strain.
Stress
Watching a family member struggle with substance abuse is stressful for everyone in the family. Stress can lead to anxiety and depression or even have physical impacts like high blood pressure or gastrointestinal issues.
Neglect of Family Responsibilities
A parent with a substance use disorder is unlikely to be able to manage their parenting and other responsibilities because they are focused on using substances. If the addicted person is a teen, all of the parenting may be focused on them, at the expense of their siblings.
Eroded Trust
Family members may lose trust in the addicted person who likely lies about their substance use. Family members may also lose trust in each other if they lie to cover for the addicted person.
Behavioral Changes in Children
When a parent is the addict, children may start to act out or do poorly in school because they are not being effectively cared for. Teen children may even turn to substances themselves as a way to cope.
Role Reversal
Sometimes, when a parent is the addict, children will become the caregivers for the parent who is unable to take care of themselves.
The Family’s Role in Recovery
Families can play a vital role in a family member’s recovery from a substance use disorder. The first step is education. The entire family should learn everything they can about addiction, and how it affects a person’s behavior. Understanding what the addict is going through is the first step in being supportive.
A supportive family is often the driving force behind the addicted person seeking treatment. Learning about treatment options and presenting them compassionately to the person suffering can provide the impetus that gets them to take the first step.
Family counseling is also sometimes a part of the treatment process. In counseling, family members can learn how to play healthy roles within the family, and how best to support the person in treatment. Family counseling is also helpful after treatment, so that the family can continue to heal and rebuild relationships.
Ideally, the family will become a critical part of the addicted person’s sober support network as they navigate their recovery journey.
In Closing
Addiction can take a toll on families and damage relationships, but with education and help from professionals, the addicted person and the family can heal and become even stronger than before. Health Service Alliance is here to help with both treatment options and family counseling services. We are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized, and accessible care regardless of your ability to pay. Reach out today to learn more.
